Oh, Eddie. If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised than I am now.

Well, it's that time of year again, kids. The time of year that separates the law school adults from the kids, but inevitably leaves us all curled up and crying on the floor in the fetal position at the end of it. That's right, I'm talking about finals.

There's really nothing to be said about finals that I haven't already said before, so I thought I would take a different approach this time. Many of you know that I quote movies constantly, given the fact that the almost every title of every post is a movie quote (including this one). In honor of my unoriginality, I have compiled a list of the ten things I would rather do instead of take law school finals.

1) I would rather volunteer as tribute in The Hunger Games than take finals. Tracker jackers and muttations aside, I'm pretty scrappy. And at least there's a chance of surviving The Hunger Games. I'm pretty sure my pulse has flat-lined during every final I've taken in law school.

2) I would rather compete in the Tri-Wizard Tournament than take finals. Scratch that...I would rather face a fire-breathing dragon with no wand or broomstick.

3) I would rather be in Brick Top's pocket than take finals. Death by pig has to be far less painful than a 52-page, 94-question Evidence final that has to be completed in two and half hours, right?

4) I would rather face Tyler Durden in a fight club than take finals. It doesn't even matter which Tyler Durden I face. Heck, I'd face Meatloaf/Bob.

5) I would rather drive from Rhode Island to Aspen on a scooter with only june bugs to eat than take finals. It might get a little nippy going through the pass, but that's ok.

6) I would rather steal from Keyser Soze than take finals. I feel like Kevin Spacey is a cool dude. We could talk it out.

7) I would rather dig out of Chateau d'If than take finals. The priest is there, so at least I'd have company...until he gets crushed by rocks. **SPOILER ALERT**

8) I would rather be travel cross-country with Del Griffith than take finals. We could rock out to "Mess Around" together before the car was destroyed.

9) I would rather face El Guapo and his men than take finals. Maybe then I could explain to them what "plethora" means.

And last, but not least,

10) I would rather be stranded on a desert island with only a volleyball for company than take finals. But unlike Tom Hanks, I would swim after Wilson and rescue him.

This is by no means an exhaustive list. I could probably come up with a hundred things I would rather do than take finals, but my Evidence outline beckons.

And people tried to tell me Evidence couldn't be outlined in less than four days...