Where we're going, we don't need roads.

Sometimes I hold grudges. I'm not sure why; I just do. The funny thing is, though, I don't hold grudges against people I know. I hold grudges against people I have never met and will never meet. Michael Vick, for one. He is forever off of my Christmas card list. Bill Belichick is another one. He knows why.

Then I came to law school. And now I'm holding the biggest grudge of my life. And the lucky target is:

King Henry VIII.

Hanks 1-7, I'm cool with you. But this is between me and Hank #8.

If you stopped reading at this point (and you probably have), you would think that this post is going to be a feminist rant, calling him pompous and tyrannical, and quite possibly, the biggest grudge holder of all time. He chopped off chicas' heads because they wouldn't give him a son or whatever. But this is not a feminist rant, and my grudge against Henry VIII has nothing to do with his interesting take on marriage and women.

My grudge against Henry VIII is purely because of the law of Property. Law students struggle with Fee Simples, Executory Interests, and Vested Remainders Subject to Open, and we wonder, "When will this misery end?" And then it gets worse. The Rule Against Perpetuities. The Rule Against Perpetuities was Hank #8's way of ensuring that he would get to laugh at first year law students almost 500 years after his death.

I am determined to master the Rule Against Perpetuities and not let Henry VIII win. We threw off England's tyranny once before, let's do it again! We'll rebel against the law of Property, and then we'll go down in history. They'll call it the Second Revolutionary War...or something more creative. It can't miss.

Until the history books are rewritten to reflect our victory over the Rule Against Perpetuities and the law of Property, I say we find some plutonium, buy a DeLorean, gun it to 1536, and slap Henry VIII in the face.

And then we run like hell.